So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
