they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I love you. Go after that dick
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
