Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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