and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
