Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize