you turned your livingroom into a bong?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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