I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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