Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am spending my child support on dildos
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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