You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
