New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
