please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
operation have a gay friend backfired
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
