Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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