walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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