I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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