Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
