Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize