Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
