Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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