i wish there were pregnant emoticons
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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