he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
