WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize