Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
