your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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