I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
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He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
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I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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