Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's shark week go big or go home
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
