Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you win again, gameday.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
