Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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