An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it was like eating out sand paper
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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