I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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