he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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