really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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