Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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