you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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