thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
