My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Randomize
