words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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