So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I love you. Go after that dick
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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