We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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