can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
