I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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