Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I FOUND THE LEGS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
