TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
