I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
