what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
