If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
People in love make me want to vomit
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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