At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
