we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
