We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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