Got a toothbrush?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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