my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's like iHOP with fire
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
