no, he came in my armpit
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
