Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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