Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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