My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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