There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
