i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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