he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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