I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
