your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
no, he came in my armpit
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
