She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
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It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize