Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
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I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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